take two

Now let's be fair. I was honest when I said that I might abandon that whole blogging thing. Maybe some of you didn't take me seriously, but obviously that was your mistake. I am fickle, and I didn't like that all of the sudden I felt like I had to post because people were telling me that I had to post. Blogging suddenly felt like a job and I just wasn't feeling it.

On a similar note, the old blog was cramping my style. Seriously. I could not get anything creative out when staring at its ugly, boring, poorly laid out blog face. It was ugly and difficult to tinker with and I really didn't feel like paying for a subscription just so that I could change the dang font. If we hadn't established this before, I'll say it again: I am not that committed. I refuse to be charged for blogging.

Can we talk about the style cramping for just one minute? In case you don't remember/missed my, count 'em, ONE post:

the old blog. not cute. not one bit.
Who even thought this style was a good idea? I've seen default PowerPoint themes that were more aesthetically pleasing, and at least you could always add sound effects and sweet spinning text and clip art if things got boring. On the old blog? Not an option. That was a "premier feature" and you'd have to "pay for that." Again, someone seriously overestimated how committed I was to keeping this whole blogging thing alive. There is no way I'm paying to be able to change my layout or background color or my font color. That requires dedication and commitment and the assurance that you're not going to drop this thing like it's hot because you wrote half of a second post, got distracted, and suddenly 6 months had passed might've gotten a little busy.

So what did I do instead? Well I learned how to use Photoshop and write code. Let me break this down for you. When I say "learned how to use Photoshop," what I mean is: Google "how to (insert technique/change/random thought here) in Photoshop" and click a lot of links until I find some kind blogger or forum poster who will walk me through the process of what I'm supposed to do. To be fair, I have learned a few things on my own, but there's a lot to learn and for now I'm mostly just happy with having the ability to edit my photos with more detail than iPhoto's very handy "auto enhance" feature. Similarly, when I say "write code," what I mean is: Google code until I find some that mostly works and slowly change things line by line to figure out what they do and make them work for me. I am 100% aware that this is not writing code, but it's a mouthful so I'm going to fib a little and say that's what I'm doing.

Why did I have to learn to do this? Because, again, I am not spending money to blog. I refuse to pay a designer to build me a layout that I might never use, because I'm making no guarantees that I will post again before April. This might be an "every six months" kind of thing, and spending money on it only makes me feel even more guilty for not keeping up with it. I refuse to be guilted into blogging, by myself or any of you. ANY of you. Even if you're my best friend. Even if we're related. Y'all aren't the boss of me. But I knew if I spent money on blogging, it wouldn't necessarily force me into actually going through with it, but it WOULD make me feel guilty about not posting.

As I heard recently and have remembered since: guilt is from Satan, but conviction is from the Lord. I like it, and I'm sticking to it. When I feel convicted, inspired, excited, or just plain want to, I'll post...and when I don't, I won't. No promises, and no guilt. That's the deal, take it or leave it.

And now, what I'm sure you've all been dying to know: where the heck have I been? Well the short of it: hanging out with my kid, getting ready for another one who will be here in just over a month (yikes), enjoying Tom's new not working 70-90 hours a week work life, and generally taking days as they come and enjoying them while they last. I know Lyla won't be a baby forever, I know I only have so many days I'll ever be pregnant, I know I only have so much time to spend enjoying my family...so that's what I'm doing. I am enjoying them. Mostly. Especially if all poop has stayed in diapers. That is THE BEST.

Don't worry, I'll update you with every.mundane.detail. in a future post. Maybe. No promises.

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